The Story of the Queen-Bee, the Bleachers, and the Mighty Finger

It was a beautiful day, absolute perfect weather, not a cloud in sight, the kind of day everyone prays for after a particularly harsh winter. The birds, having just returned from their winter vaca, were chirping away without a care in the world. How could anyone stay inside on a day like this?

My little Rainbow Rider was only 4 at the time. He was so excited when I told him we were going to the playground. True moments of witnessed happiness were rare at this point in his life so, I'm sure other Rainbow Mommy's can relate when I say, seeing him excited was a HUGE deal!

We went to the playground at his school, he was familiar with it and in the past I've seen other kids playing there on the weekends. I figured one of his classmates might be there or he could at the very least make a new friend. 

We arrived at the school, my Rainbow Rider hopped out of the car and bolted to the playground. There were six other kid's there playing, they all looked relatively close to my boy's age. I immediately thought to myself, "He is going to have so much fun!"

I spotted a group of Mom's sitting on a small set of bleachers right by the playground. It was the perfect spectator spot! You could see every inch of the playground from those bleachers without being that "hovering" Mom. I walked in their direction and took a seat at a polite distance away from one of the other Mom's, but not far enough away to be considered anti-social. I smiled sweetly and introduced myself to the other Mom's. They seemed so perfect, like the definition of what the ultimate "super-wife/mom" would look like. It's hard not to admire that level perfection especially so early on a Saturday morning. Their hair perfectly done, not a blot or blemish, the form fitting yoga pants with the sporty matching jacket they all were wearing, 

The truth is, I kind of wanted to get to know these Mom's. I didn't have many "Mommy" friends. I was younger than most when I had my son, so while my old high school pals were out enjoying their young 20's, I was at home raising a special needs child. That part didn't bother me though, I loved my new life.
Since my son started early intervention when he was only two years old, I had some time to witness the "Mommy-cliques" in action. I saw them volunteering at the school, organizing fundraisers, standing in perfect little circle at dismissal planning their next play-date, shopping adventure, or kid-free night. The group of Mom's I sat down beside at the playground on this particular day were the "Moms-To-Know", and I wanted to be invited into their circle.

The other Mom's were pleasant and seemed so sweet. It was obvious who the Queen-Bee was, all of the other Moms sat around her in a circle with their legs angled perfectly in her direction, giving her their full attention. They all seemed quite interested in me and my son. They asked what I did for a living, if I was married, you know the usual  getting-to-know-each-other small talk. It didn't take long for the group to drift off into their usual gossip. I lost interest in what they were saying, I didn't know the other Moms and kids they were talking about, but hanging out in the rumor-mill has never really been my thing

.

I sat on the bleachers, beside the "Moms-To-Know", but very much by myself. I watched my son as he explored the playground like he had never been there before. His curiosity and true appreciation of all things always made me smile. He was rocking, spinning, flapping, and stimming all over the place. The Rainbow Dance, as I like to call it, was a giveaway that he was having a blast!

I found myself lost in the moment, admiring my son and the beautiful dance only he knew the steps to. One of the Queen's loyal subjects quickly snapped me back to reality when she laughingly asked 

"What is your son doing?" The laughter behind her question made it seem like this mother was making fun of my child. But that couldn't be right. No, I was just being overly protective. I mean, maybe she just doesn't know what stimming is.

"He's..well, he's dancing...sort of..." I kindly answered, attempting to be genuine and light hearted... "He has Autism, when he gets excited he flaps his arms or spins in circles. You know, stimming..."  

She didn't respond. She just slightly nodded her head "yes" like I had just answered a question correctly on a pop quiz...
Weird, but whatever ---  I was already moving on when I felt it, those piercing judgmental stares that only Mean-Moms and Bully Kids know how to shoot from their eyes. They were directing those stares at my child. At this point my inner-bitch was trying desperately to emerge and I was trying even more desperately to keep her at bay. I was convinced I was taking the ignorant question and rude staring personally, that the sting I was feeling was my fault, that I was interpreting this situation wrong. I had to be, right? Mom's aren't supposed to be assholes like this!

  They held onto those fake as hell, polite smiles. But those smiles couldn't hide the mean girl who lived deep within these Mom's, who was awakened by the sight of a new target. For a few minutes they tried to hold their composure, randomly one would snort in an extremely unattractive and unnatural way in an attempt to contain their laughter.
 --- I was about to lose my cool and act in a way that could be compared to a Mama Bear protecting her cub---
I thought to myself, screw them, and went back to watching my boy play. The "Mom's-to-Know" began talking more quietly than they were before, the way high school girls do in the cafeteria when the subject of their torture is walking by them. The inner bitch and the mama bear that live deep within me became allies and they were beginning to take over, and I knew if these two emerged it wouldn't be pretty.
I decided it would be best for all parties involved if I removed myself from the imaginary kingdom on the bleachers, all the while wishing there weren't so many kids around so I could freely tell these Mom's all about themselves.
I walked onto the playground and took a seat in one of the swings. My son walked over and sat in the swing beside me. We swayed, back and forth, feeling the wind on our faces, drowning out the rest of the world, enjoying the moment. My frustration began to subside and I wondered how sad their lives must truly be if they find joy in laughing at a child. As I went over the events in my mind, I realized how grateful I am because I am nothing like them, thankful because I don't live in that kind of darkness. And finally, I began to genuinely feel sorry for them... that sneaky bitch we all love to hate, karma, will come and knock their snarky asses off of those bleachers soon enough.

It would've been all too easy to tell these other Mom's to shove it up their *not-so-fun* place. But I'm better than that. I'm better than them. My son deserves better from me. When people put the nature of their true character on display in such a disgusting way, its not hard to come up with some prettyaccurate assumptions about how much their lives must really suck! But, one thing I have learned from riding on this Rainbow for so long, is the people who treat our kids the worst are the one's who understand the least.

The disability of Autism is NOT HAVING Autism... The crippling disability within the spectrum is the society who makes no effort to understand Autism and all it encompasses. 

Small Minded People are afraid of anything which is not "normal", they don't know how to open the tiny little normal box in their brain and because of this, they will forever live in fear of the unknown. Their ignorance is not your fault! And their education is not your responsibility, (unless you decide to enlighten them).
Put your hands up! Flip them all BOTH of your middle fingers with a huge grin on your face! One finger for the "Mean-Mom's", another for the bully kids, here's another for the family members who "mean well" but don't have a clue, here's another for the people who have perfected the art of judgmental staring, and keep another in your pocket for back-up in case you find another uneducated soul who could use a good *SCREW YOU*


So to all my fellow Rainbow Mom's and Dad's out there...What has your experience with the "Mom's-To-Know" clique been like. Did they embrace you or did they bear striking similarities to your old high school's resident "mean-girls"? How do you handle those judgmental parents? Share your story here or on FACEBOOK. I'd love to read them all!

Just Keep Stimming, Stimming, Stimming

To Stim or Not To Stim ---- Not a question at all

What is Stimming?
Stimming is defined as:

"Stimming is a repetitive body movement that self-stimulates one or more senses in a regulated manner. Stimming is known in psychiatry as a "stereotypy", a continuous, purposeless movement.... Common forms of stimming among autistic people include hand flapping, body spinning or rocking, lining up or spinning toys or other objects, echolalia, perseveration, and repeating rote phrases. There are many theories about the function of stimming, and the reasons for its increased incidence in autistic people. For hyposensitive people, it may provide needed nervous system arousal, releasing beta-endorphins. For hypersensitive people, it may provide a "norming" effect, allowing the person to control a specific sense, and is thus a soothing behavior." -Autism Wiki

Now, in English: Stimming is any repetitive behavior that a person shows when they are attempting to self-soothe in an over or under-stimulating environment.  It is most commonly associated with developmental disabilities such as Autism or Down Syndrome. It's important to realize that you may witness these children stimming more than most, however EVERYONE stims in one way or another.

Who displays "stimming behavior"? - Well, we've kind of already answered this but I'll elaborate: We all do! Children, adults, neuro-typical individuals, individuals with special needs, every race known to man, every age group, men and women, boys and girls --- every PERSON has a way in which they self soothe.

Types of "stims":

:

Sense	Stimming Actions
Visual	Flapping hands, blinking and / or moving fingers in front of eyes; staring repetitively at a light
Auditory	Making vocal sounds; snapping fingers
Tactile	Scratching; rubbing the skin with one's hands or with an external object
Vestibular	Moving body in rhythmic motion; rocking front and back or side-to-side
Taste	Licking body parts; licking an object
Smell	Smelling objects or hands; other people

 -Autism Wiki

The list above is an extremely small list of common stims witnessed most often. There are hundreds, perhaps even thousands more! My Rainbow Rider displays almost all of the stims listed above. It's just part of who he is and how he is learning to cope. We will dive into that part a little further into the post....
Not everyone shows the exact stimming mentioned in the above chart. Some stimming is so subtle I bet you never knew it was considered a "stimming behavior".
For example, when I am nervous I twirl and pull at my hair. Since I am deep down incredibly shy, I catch myself doing this quite often.. This is one of the ways my mind calms itself in environments where I find myself the most anxious. I also tap my foot on the ground, really fast, for hours sometimes. I won't even realize I've been shaking my leg until someone places their hand on my knee, like a silent cue to stop. I find myself do this when I am bored, when my environment is under-stimulating. Oddly enough my Father and Sister tap their feet as well.

• Nail-biting
• Tapping pencil or pen
• Hair Twirling
• Chewing on things
• Fiddling with objects, fingers, anything really
• Cracking Knuckles
• Doodling
• Picking at Fingers
• Scab Picking
• Pacing
• Repetitive Movements of Fingers and Toes (serving no purpose)

I'd be willing to bet, if you sat and really put some thought into the actions of the neuro-typical people in your life, or even yourself, you'll realize that EVERYONE engages in one or more of the things listed above.

So, Why Do We Stim?
Temple Grandin, a widely known and highly respected Autistic, an author, speaker, cited expert in many publications, and video producer, states in her article "Why Do Kids With Autism Stim?"...

"When I did stims such as dribbling sand through my fingers, it calmed me down. When I stimmed, sounds that hurt my ears stopped. Most kids with autism do these repetitive behaviors because it feels good in some way. It may counteract an overwhelming sensory environment, or alleviate the high levels of internal anxiety these kids typically feel every day."

We stem for the very same reason we breathe, our mind subconsciously does it for us. We don't need to concentrate on breathing in order for it to happen, it just does. The same applies for stimming, usually it has been occurring for quite some time before the conscious mind has time to catch up. We stim when we are concentrating, when we are excited, when we are anxious or mad, when our environment is so underwhelming that our brain recognizes the need for more stimulation, and vice versa. Name a situation or emotion and there would be hundreds of stims associated to it.

Why Would We Want To Stop The Stimming?
 If stimming is, by it's very definition, a neurological response to an over/under whelming environment than one should question any person's intention of eradicating self stimming behavior. Thank about it: If a child is portraying repetitive actions that are not self-injurious, or a danger to people around him, than what is the big deal? Our Rainbow Kids experience a great deal of difficulty when mentally processing their surroundings ALL OF THE TIME, why would we stop them from learning to self-regulate?
Some adults try to lessen the stimming actions in public because it makes others around them uncomfortable. ---I call bullshit---- Let's call it for what it is, it's because the stimming can be embarrassing. There is NOTHING wrong with admitting this. It's one of the many unspoken truths of the Autistic Mother! I'm not saying it's the child who is embarrassing, not at all. What is embarrassing, and INFURIATING it the stares and ignorant judgement from the other adults in the room.
If your child's attempts at coping with an environment he doesn't understand bothers other people in any way shape or form; kindly give them that upside down bird you've acquired and move along...

  I went into details about this in a previous blog:

A Few Things Every Autism Parent Should Know Part 1: "Look at it this way, you are doing them a favor. Exposing individuals to things that push them outside of their comfort zone offers a valuable learning experience. You are raising awareness in its most raw and unedited form. Screw sugar coating it. Meltdowns, sensory processing disorders, stimming --- they are all a part of Autism. One would never expect an individual who uses a wheelchair to apologize for being unable to walk, or expect the deaf to apologize for needing an interpreter."

For Pete's sake let the kid stim. You don't see anyone chastising you for the ways in which you stim. Let the child learn to rely on him/herself by tapping into self taught coping strategies used to modify their environment within themselves.




The Flip Side
If behaviors become a danger to the person or the people around the child please seek medical intervention immediately. This is an entirely different situation. Often it is not stimming that causes violent behavior, it's often found to be frustration from a lack of verbal skills. Do not play around and waste time when your child shows the ability to hurt himself or others. I can not stress this enough!



Why I Think Stimming is Au-Some
I've learned all of my son's various stims and which he displays under different circumstances. This has proven to be an incredible tool that was added to my Mommy Tool Belt. When my son is biting his lip or the skin around his fingers I know without him even saying it, he's been getting picked on. When my son rocks back and forth at his desk while facial grimacing and contorting his hands I know the work he is doing is hard and he needs a breather. When he jumps around, flapping his arms, for hours sometimes, I know this is because he is thinking "happy thought". When I ask him why he was so excited he will dive into a tucked away memory and describe it so vividly that you very easily could close your eyes and re-live that moment with him.
It reminds me of Peter Pan and how he taught Wendy to fly. My boy has the
"Think Happy Thoughts" thing down to an art.

You can see here how Au-Some stimming has proven to be for my son and me at least. Even in the moments where communication lacks, I have been trained to interpret his reactions to his environment, making it easier for me to either accommodate them or to assist him in coping with them should he need it. Not to be repetitive, but when we stop caring what ignorant ass-heads think, the more we will begin to understand the intricate details of these beautiful Ranbow minds.

What are your thoughts on stimming? Put them in the comments below!

If you enjoyed this blog or any others please share it on Facebook and don't forget to say hello while you are there! I respond to every post, message, or comment so you wont be ignored :)

Until next time, my friends...

 

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Teaching My Child To Stand Up For Himself

Before I get into the nitty gritty of this post I need to give some background. My son just recently graduated from the special education bus to the big bus. This was something he wanted so badly and I was too nervous to let him. This year we decided, after prepping him with a few months of social stories and ensuring he could handle it, we could TRY it. He did great though. He made a bunch of friends and loved the independence of it. Months with no issues whatsoever. And he was incredibly proud of himself!

A few days ago my son walked off of the bus with an abnormally somber look on his face. Usually he skips off of the bus wearing a huge grin, excited to be home with the family. This day, however, was very different. When I locked eyes with him, my smile quickly faded. It was almost like there was an unspoken connection between his eyes and mine. I could tell something happened, something bad.

"Are you mad at me, Mom?" - The first thing he asked when he stepped off of the bus.

"No, why would you think I'm mad at you?"

"No reason."

Hmmm... This was not what I was expecting. I was puzzled. Typically when he asks if I am mad at him it's because he is about to tell me something he did at school that he assumes I'd be upset about. We were walking by this point, and I noticed his cheek was red, oddly red, not the kind of red that happens when it's cold out or extremely hot. No, this shade of red could only happen by being hit... hit hard!

"Hey, what happened to your cheek?" I asked even though I already knew.

He looked up at me afraid, confused, "The kid on the bus punched me a lot, but I didn't cry. Are you mad Mom?"

What? No! I'm not mad I'm furious! But not with my son, with this "kid" who put his hands on my child.
Maintaining my composure as best I could I began asking questions. Trying to get the full story before I called to speak with the school. He tends to leave out important facts that I have to dig for. The things he didn't think to mention showed me just how confused he was by this entire situation.
He's been the target of bullying for years, but until recently he didn't concern himself with what others said about him. He really didn't care. He did his own thing and paid them no attention. The past 2 years have been much harder on him. He cares now, sometimes too much, what others think of him. He's very concerned with having friends and is very deeply hurt when others are mean to him.

Long story short: He told me he sat beside someone new on the bus. The bus was full and the seats by his friends were all taken. The boy he sat beside was bigger than him, he described his hair color, his eyes, what he was wearing, but he forgot to ask his name. He said he really liked his hat, it was cool because it looked like a wolf head. He told me he asked him if he could see it. The boy put his fist inside of the hat and punched him straight in the eye with it. My son said he threatened to tell the bus driver and the boy hit him again, and again, and again. A total of 4 times. He had a goose egg on his forehead right under his hairline so it was easy to miss, his rosy red cheek, and the next day woke up with a blood shot and bruised eye.
When I asked him what he did after the boy hit him so many times he said he didn't do anything, He didn't cry because he was brave. He didn't tell the bus driver because he didn't want to get in trouble and get kicked off of the big bus.<--- This broke my heart. He didn't understand that sometimes kids are just mean, more than mean, they are cruel. He really thought he must have done something that would get him in trouble since the boy hit him. He couldn't wrap his head around the fact that sometimes people hit others for no reason, and it is wrong!

I called the school, the principal basically swept it under the rug because it wasn't witnessed, it wasn't reported before getting off of the bus, and because of my son's communication difficulties she had a hard time pulling the story from him. This aspect of it is FAR from over. And that is a subject for another blog on another day.

His Dad and I discussed this and how to best explain this to him. We agreed on the fact that he needed to know and understand: BULLYING is NEVER ok! It is wrong! Sometimes kids can be mean, for no reason, but he is not to ever make fun of another person. We explained to him how hurtful it is when people pick on others. He related to this concept easily because he has been picked on so much.

Here comes the controversial part: We told him he is never to allow someone to hit him. If someone puts their hands on him, we taught him to stand up for himself, to fight back. We explained if he ever hits someone first he will be in more trouble than he could ever imagine. But if someone hits him again, do not just sit there and take it. Do something!

I know! I know! Two wrongs don't make a right, we are teaching violence, blah, blah, whatever! I know we are supposed to teach our kids to tell an adult, to avoid areas where bullies hang out, to defend themselves with words, not actions... but how can we teach this to children when words are what they lack, when adults brush them off because they too don't understand what they are trying to say, when the bullies are in places they can't avoid? What then?
Here's how I see it: Bullies target those who they believe are weak, ones who are easily intimidated, ones who can't or wont stand up for themselves. In my son's case, he is often targeted because other kids around him have come to recognize that he lacks the verbal skills or social understanding to seek help from an adult. If these kids view my son as weak and then see the school sweep it under the rug, this will never end, it will escalate and eventually something terrible could happen. Not to mention the permanent damage repetitive bullying does to self confidence and self worth.
My Rainbow Rider is actually the polar opposite of weak. He's a big kid, a gentle giant, stronger than most. I've witnessed him tackle my husband to the ground when he was learning to play football. And it's my belief these kids needs to realize just how strong he really is. If he fights back, even just one time, maybe they will realize he is not the one to mess with. His Dad and I were in agreement; this is the solution for our child, because finding an adult doesn't work: they don't believe him, and the bullies just love that, therefore causing even MORE motivation to target him!

Back to the story:

I wanted to do something special for him that weekend. Something to lift his spirits a bit. I invited 2 of his best friends over for a sleep over. They watched movies, played, ate a bunch of pizza and ice cream. The next day we all went to the local bounce house. At the bounce house I instructed the 3 boys to stick together and I tried to keep watch from a distance where my toddler was safely playing in the big kid free zone, but the massive inflatables blocked my view at times. He was with his friends though, in a safe environment, I wasn't worried.
They were having a blast! Randomly they would run up to me, drink some water or Gatorade, and get right back to playing. 
I heard a commotion, but it didn't alarm me because at the bounce house everything is loud. Then I heard my son yell "Don't you ever put your hands on me!". My eyes and ears have become fine tuned to locate my boy in a matter of seconds, just another aspect of being the Mom of a Rainbow Rider. I grabbed my toddler and bolted in his direction. I got to the boys just in time to witness my son, with a busted lip, trying to assist a child, with an already bruising eye, off of the ground. The kid pushed my son's hand away and stood up on his own, he was FUMING, and he was big... bigger than my son, maybe about 3 or 4 years older. It was hard to tell. My son and his friends ran up to me and all began talking at once, really fast, trying to tell me what happened. 

"Quiet! Everyone! You! Tell me what happened!" I pointed to my son's friend, we'll call him Ben. He is neuro-typical with the same honesty traits as my own son. I knew I would get the ENTIRE story quickly and accurately.

Ben told me these big kids kept following them from inflatable to inflatable, making fun of my son and how he was stemming. He said they kept moving around trying to get away from the kids but they were following them, eventually the boy pushed my son down and when he got back up the kid hit my son in the mouth. My son yelled at the kid and then punched him once in the eye causing him to fall over. That's when I showed up.

I looked to my son and asked him if this was all true and he said it was...
And as much as some might judge me, this was one of my proudest moments as a mother. You may not agree, you may not understand it, and you may not like it... but I don't expect anyone to.
My son who is perceived by most as "weak" was being bullied, as he is quite often, he tried avoidance, he tried using his words, and when the other child took it too far by putting his hands on him, my son showed him just how weak he isn't. Perhaps this kid will think twice before he lays his hands on another person again...and perhaps this will be because of my son and his courage to stand up for himself. And maybe, the next time someone decides to bully my son, he will have the courage and the confidence to stand tall and proud and clearly let them know they will not treat him that way. He is not a victim...anymore...

A Few Things Every Autism Parent Should Remember Part 2

This one took a bit longer to compose. This wasn't due to a lack of ideas, rather a plethora of advice that one could give to parents like us. I've narrowed them down to the one's that speak the most to me. I hope this can encourage or help some of you out there in one way or another. So, here goes:

We all have them, those "friends", who in their infinite wisdom, know all there is to know about every topic or subject known to man. The ones who have seen it all, done it all, and wrote the book. The people who bestow upon you, without even asking them to, all kinds of advice on the best way to "deal with" your child's Autism. And it doesn't matter that they don't have or know any Autistic children themselves, they are experts in that area from that one article they read however many years ago. Yea, those assholes. The one's you politely flash a smile at and quickly find an excuse to get away from. These are the same clueless people who tell you all your kid needs is a good spanking... Or the "friends" who invite all of your other friends to play dates or birthday parties but forget to invite you and your child. The ones who conveniently distance their children from yours because they ignorantly think "Oh NO he has Autism! My kid might catch it". The same goes for family. Those family members who take the other kids out on fun outings but never take your Rainbow Rider
because they just don't think they can "handle" him/her. Cut these people out of your life NOW! Friends and Family don't behave this way and the ass hats that do don't deserve your time. Walk away, you don't deserve to be treated this way and your child damn sure doesn't deserve it. So don't expose yourselves or your kids to it. `Cut the tie that binds and move along. I promise, you'll find life is much easier without them!

It's easy as parents to obsess about being perfect. We try to have an immaculate home, dinner always prepared, children bathed and groomed, laundry put away, dishes always done, maintain our appearance, stay fit, ensure homework and projects are done on time every time, be active in Mommy groups, attend every family function and friendly encounter, and SO MUCH MORE! This is IMPOSSIBLE not only for Autism parents, but ALL parents. The weight we put on ourselves to accomplish EVERY task on our own is ridiculous. You do not have to be perfect! Stop trying to be! In our attempts at perfection we allow things to fall through the cracks... important things... things like getting down on the floor and playing with our kids, things like taking a day and just spending it doing whatever it is will make a new memory for our families. The dishes, the laundry, the housework will be there when you find time to do them. For now, remember there isn't enough time in the day to accomplish all of the things you want to, so prioritize. Family first, always.

There are plenty of times in our journey's through this life where we get discouraged and lose hope. Even if we don't tell anyone when it happens, we all experience this. You are not a bad parent for feeling this way. But you have to get up, dust the negativity off, and dig deep for that hope. What we believe is what will come to pass. I truly believe this, because I have witnessed it in my life.
If we believe a situation is hopeless, it will be. If we believe nothing is impossible, we will begin to see things once said to be impossible happen.
 There is always light in the darkness. If you find yourself in a moment where you can't see it, or you can't feel it, adjust your view! Change your perspective! Do anything to find that light again. But absolutely do not just sit there wallowing in the dark! If you need to talk to someone, seek them out, find a good friend, a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on. You don't have to face things alone.
For me, my go-to-girl when reality punches me in the face is my childhood best friend. She doesn't have a child with Autism, but she loves mine like one of her own. She loves me enough to listen to me bitch, then she lays it out for me like a best friend should. She tells me to get it all out and when I am done she makes me stand back up on my feet and keep going! Again, perfection is impossible. Crying is normal. Feeling sad or depressed about life's evil curve balls is ok. Deciding to live in the darkness is not. If you can't find the light on your own, get someone to help you. The light is ALWAYS there! You just have to open your eyes a little wider, dig a little deeper, and you'll see it.

We are busy people! I think it's safe to assume we are busier than your average parent. But even in your busiest moments, remember there are other parents out there who are new to the rainbow life, and they could probably use a friend. Put yourself out there, make yourself available, be a listening ear, offer encouragement, remind them they're not alone.
Too often we feel so spent that we fool ourselves into believing we have nothing more to offer anyone... but you do... and you should. Even something as simple as referring them to the pediatrician you use or the neurologist you've come to see as family. Help them navigate the confusing lingo and details of IEP's. Offer your story, your journey... you have no idea how much your experiences can help another family. The truth is we aren't in this alone. There are millions of families out there who are on the rainbow with us. It's our responsibility to each other to be available, be a friend. God knows in this world of people who just don't get it, we NEED people in our lives who do! We were divinely chosen to live this life, every single one of us. I'd venture to say that bond is as tight as blood. We are a different kind of family! A colorful;, crazy, spinning, flapping, beautiful FAMILY!

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